Everyone is in pursuit of their own brand of happiness. For some, it’s having an active part of the community, growing roots and bonds that help them feel as if they belong. For others, they want to feel free from the fetters and confines of one single space and pick up and go as they please. For you, it might look like something else altogether. If you are serious about living a happy life, with your own personalized brand of happiness, there are things you might have to face letting go of first.
Let Go of These Things to Gain Happiness
Attachment to Certain Conditions or Outcomes. True happiness and peace of mind comes from within and is not dependent on external conditions. Sure, want things a certain way, do the leg work to create things in your life that you would like, but have the detachment to be able to let go with grace if things don’t work out the way you’d hoped.
The Need to Be Right. If you are worried that you will make mistakes, then you will stagnate in a cesspool of never taking chances. If you feel being wrong means something is wrong with you, think again. We are all wrong some of the time and that’s a beautiful and human thing. Acknowledge mistakes for what they are and learn from them because it’s in learning that you grow.
Control of Other People, Places or Things. It simply can’t be done and in the end, sure you might win a few small battles here and there, but the war will be lost every time because other people, places and things simply must be accountable for themselves. You can control yourself, your responses and your choices. Focus on those things and let go of the rest.
People Who Don’t Support Your Highest Purpose. Letting go of some people might be the hardest thing you ever do, and it doesn’t mean to just throw people out left and right like yesterday’s junk food wrappers. Start by setting boundaries about what is or is not acceptable to you. Boundaries are not about controlling another person and they are not about whether anyone agrees with them or not. They are for you, for what you feel is important in your own life. The ones who will work hard to respect your boundaries are the keepers.
Blaming Anyone or Anything for Your Life. Stuff happens that you don’t expect and can’t plan for, but you always, always have the choice in how to respond. Hold yourself accountable for your own life.
Negative Self Talk. Your self-respect, self-esteem and ultimately your happiness depends on how gentle you are with yourself. Telling yourself you don’t deserve good things or that you aren’t good enough is abuse. Refuse to live with abuse from yourself and from others.
Allowing Self Limiting Beliefs. Refuse to limit your potential, no matter what. When you push to break through self imposed barriers you will find that you can do just about anything your wildest dreams portray to you.
Complaining About Anything. When you complain you are either playing victim or refusing to set boundaries for what is acceptable for your life. If you find yourself venting or feeling angry, frustrated or troubled about something, start asking yourself what you want instead of what you are complaining about and focus on attaining that.
Judging Others. If they aren’t hurting you or others, leave them be. The time and energy you spend getting into their business you could be spending focused on making your own life happier and more satisfying.
Leaving the Present Moment. The past is over and there is nothing you can do about it. The future is unclear; you can plan for it, but don’t live in it. Stay in the here and now and take advantage of finding what is good and happy for you in the moment.
Worrying About What Others Think. If you have to pretend to be someone you aren’t, then the people you are putting this act on for aren’t worth your efforts. Find people who love you for who you are and celebrate the unique character you are in everything you do.
Resisting Change. Everything changes. Look back at letting go of controlling other people, places or things if you find yourself trying to stop changes from happening. Life gets a lot more adventuresome when you embrace the hills, valleys, twists and turns that come your way.
Fear of living. Be afraid of something that will kill you, like a charging hippopotamus. If it won’t kill you, then there is nothing to be afraid of.
Excuses. Making excuses as to why your life isn’t the way you want it to be is worthless. Sadly, even if it’s a really good excuse because chances are someone else saw the excuse and found a way around it. So can you.
Wow! That’s a lot isn’t it? Pretend like you are eating an elephant and you do that by taking one bite at a time. Make it a point to address everyone of these points to see what you can let go of. The more you let go, the more room you have for something better. In this way you’ll learn the things to give up if you are serious about having a happy life were never worth the energy it had been to keep them for so long.