Thank you Grey for this inspiring article!
The best way to employ this technique is to be careful about your choice of words. Researchers from the University of California examined couples and found out You need to know how to fight skillfully: As the famous saying from The Tao says, ohat they use pronouns in plural for, for example, we, us, and ours, instead of I, me and mine. This showed that they got less stressed out after fights than couples who used pronouns in singular form. When couples use ‘we’ there comes an alignment on the same side, and its better than being placed as adversaries.
Be fair and generous during conflicts. There are bound to be differences and disagreements over opinions when two couples stay decide to together. The trick is to do it skillfully to become a successful couple, this way; the relationship becomes stronger with time rather than weaker.
Ask and offer forgiveness:
Successful couples may not forget disagreements after they forgive, but they sure do forgive and let the heat cool down. If you have done something wrong, you have to ask for apology rather than sticking to your ego problems. When you are at the receiving end, you have to know how to accept the apology.
Clarissa Pinkola Estes, an author, states that there are four simple stages for complete forgiveness:
- Forgo: Cool down and take break from thoughts about your partner or the fight.
- Forebear: Be graceful about the situation instead of thinking to punish the other or acting on it.
- Forget: Let it go, do not dwell on matters. It would just loosen your hold on the memory. Forgetting is an active endeavor.
- Forgive: Be consciously aware of the decision you want to take and do not build in resentment in yourself.
Photo Credits: eharmony
Successful couples have plans to stay together forever: There is nothing about relationships where you can stay in between; it’s either for a lifetime, or it’s not. The choice is yours. Make sure that the promises you made are committed and not just said. Happy and successful couples take their vows of being together through thick and thin seriously. Each partner has to stand up for the other partner during difficult situations in life. The trick is to know within that the other person is the only one he or she can count on at any point in their lives.
You need to have a positive outlook towards your partner: John Gottman, a marriage researcher says that the secret to being a happy couple is to have respect, empathy, affection, and the ability to pay close attention to the happenings in each other’s lives. Additionally, his researches showed that successful couples, while going through disagreements, made at least five positive remarks for each of the negative points they say about the other. When compared, couples who head for divorce could not even come up with one positive remark during their fights.
Having said all of that, your relationship is your own. Only the two of you understand the grip of it. The better you hold on to it, the longer it will last. The more you let it slip, you;d find yourself immersed in bitter feelings!
Written By: Grey Schneider is a photographer. For one of his projects, he clicked 35 different angles of a bunch of frozen mice. He has had some experience as a copywriter with a service provision company seo in New York. He loves exploring new things too.