Personal power is a feeling that you are capable of taking advantage of options. It is not about controlling other people or bullying your way through life. That’s power gone wrong. No, personal power is what allows you to feel solid, connected and unwavering in your intentions to live life on your own terms, regardless of outside influences.
Another point of confusion about personal power is that it’s something you either have or not. But this is something we all have. Just like any other strength though, it needs to be exercised in order to remain powerful. To strengthen your personal power, start by looking at where you are giving it away. Then the work of reclaiming and increasing it can begin.
Two Most Common Ways of Losing Personal Power
Most of us lose our personal power because we believe our thoughts and emotions are who we are, but we are not these things and I can prove it. Ready?
- State your name and feel that identity. Now, state you’re happy (Whether you are or not, just do it for the sake of this exercise).
- Are you still your name, or did your name change to happy? No, you are still your name and happy is just a feeling you are experiencing, just like if you put food in your mouth and tasted it.
- Next, think of something sad, you will feel the emotion follow that thought. But are you still your name? Now, think of something happy, you will feel the emotion follow that thought. Who are you now?
- No matter what you think and what you feel, that could change within a matter of minutes and typically at least a dozen times a day. It’s easy to get confused and live our life as if we are those thoughts and emotions.
- Happy will go away and you will still be your name. When you forget your name and act as if you are your feelings, or thoughts, then you have given away your personal power. Take it back and be your name and experience your feelings and thoughts from a space that allows you to respond from who you are, not what you think and feel.
Anytime you are wrapped up in the problems and not focused on the solutions, you are giving away your personal power.
- Repeat that.
- Ruminating about the problems, complaining about them, sitting around blaming people or conditions is weakness.
- Thinking about solutions, opportunities and if nothing else, how to accept what can’t be changed is strength.
Now that you know how you are most likely to give away your personal power, you can begin to create the discipline to change that because keeping the personal power you have in the first place will sure go a long way in increasing it.
Here is how to quickly increase your personal power:
- Recognize what is going on inside and around you at all times from the point of who you are instead of your thoughts and feelings. Accept the challenge to bring your best self to every one of the most moments.
- Reevaluate those moments to see the solutions. If you are thinking about the problems, you are not thinking about the solutions.
- Restore yourself in some way on a daily basis. What that means is take time to meditate, ground, center, pray or relax away from televisions, mobile devices and computers. Even if you can only take five or ten minutes a day to do this, it will make a huge difference.
So, in a nutshell, you will increase your personal power by retaining it and then practicing recognition, reevaluation and restoration. Quick? Yes. Easy? No. Do it anyway. It will get easier as you practice. Besides, what great things in life have come easy?
As always, if you need help or would like someone to have on hand as an accountability partner, contact me or work with a life mentor, Life Coach or other life skills training provider.