Okay ladies, let’s take a look at some of those things that confound you about your husband and learn some ways to work with him. Not all of it is fair and not all of it will even make sense to you, but it is what it is, just like I told the men about wives. If it helps, realize he has his own set of things about you that might not seem fair or reasonable to him, but marriage isn’t always about what’s fair or reasonable, it’s about how you can work together to make it comfortable and happy for both of you.
Facts for Men About Wives to Help Keep a Happy Marriage might be worth the time for your husband to read and then perhaps you can compare notes. Better yet, you might just want to work on what you learn in this article and he can work on what he learns in his.
Facts for Women About Husbands
When you tell your husband you are too tired or not in the mood to have sex, he will take it as a personal rejection. He shows love through sex and when you turn that down, it’s hurtful to him. If you are tired or not in the mood, then look at how you can lighten your schedule or get your libido back and by all means let him know you are working on that and ask him if he can help.
Your husband gets very uncomfortable when you cry because unless it’s about a situation such as death or loss, he just doesn’t understand it. Make an attempt to let him know what you are crying about, such as if he forgets to bring home milk, it’s not about the milk, it’s about how you feel unloved or unappreciated. When he has a better understanding of what is really making you upset, then the opportunity to create solutions will present itself. Make sure you voice those feelings in a way that doesn’t sound like blaming though to keep the communication healthy.
Men show love in ways you might not see, such as in wanting sex, but also by working. If he’s working hard to bring in money or to help around the house and you can understand that is how he shows love, then you can feel more loved when he spends four hours washing the tires on the car. Of course ask him to show you love the way you need to see it and spell it out crystal clear what that looks like whether it’s for more affection that doesn’t lead to sex, more alone time together or some other need you have, but don’t knock what he is doing in the meantime because to him he is really trying hard to be loving in his own way and the thought behind that is precious.
Men are fixers, we are talkers and never the two shall meet, well hardly ever anyway. If you have a problem that you just want to share, without him fixing it, let him know in advance. Otherwise don’t get frustrated when he tries to fix the problem instead of just listening to you because that is what he is hardwired to do where we need to talk through problems first and then come up with the answer. So, just let him know that you aren’t looking for an answer, you just need to vent and all he has to do is listen.
Men are not as intuitively plugged in as you are, so chances of him picking up on small hints are not as likely as you’d expect. In other words, he’s not a mind reader. Instead of expecting him to just “know” something, spell it out for him, kindly and clearly. Asking him to tell you what he heard can help to make sure you spoke in a way he understands.
While women need to feel loved more than anything else, men need to feel respected. So, if you really want your husband to feel loved then opt instead to show him respect. How he sees that is up to him, so just ask him and consider what he requests. It might look like refraining to discuss his shortcomings with others or not arguing with him in public. Whatever it is, do your best to work things out with him so his needs can be met.
If you really want to knock your husband’s socks off, initiate sex in a way that is bolder and more apparent than what you usually do. “Come hither” looks, making little comments hinting about sex and letting him know you are available for it might be your way of actually initiating it and that certainly isn’t wrong, it’s just that he just doesn’t get it. In other words, be blunt, grab him and do it, or tell him in specific terms what you want, he’ll love it!
Men are extremely visual creatures and that should never be overlooked. Taking the time to look as beautiful for him as when you first started dating is something you should make into a priority. Sure, that might be difficult to do with toddlers running around and a full time job, but do it anyway. You’ll feel better about yourself and he won’t feel like he got cheated by you showing him your beautiful side until he put a ring on it.
Put your husband first and yes that means over your children too. That doesn’t mean ignore your children in order to lavish all your attention on your husband exclusively, it means face your husband first and then present a united front with your children. That goes for everyone else as well. That is a part of what marriage is all about, two becoming one and not only when it’s convenient. Besides, he puts up with you through all sorts of ups and downs in ways no one else ever will. He deserves your best.
About the Author:
I'm Tracy Morrow, a Personal Life Coach with certifications specializing in Conflict Resolution, Energy Psychology and Analysis / Evaluation of Emotional Issues. I work with people from all different walks of life to set goals, clarify decision making, improve relationships and overcome specific conflicts. Expect more from life - Claim your FREE life coach session now and make today the day you define a more direct path to the brighter and happier future you deserve.