You may not even realize how much of your personal power you are giving away.
This is because there are typically only one or two people you will be prone to surrendering your power to and oftentimes, without realization. We’ll call these your “targets”.
To balance that out, there will be others who you are more assertive with. In fact you might even verge on being oppositional with them. We’ll call these your “anti-targets”.
This sets up an environment of false empowerment which in turn leads to dysfunctional living. As you can imagine, that is the opposite of achieving a level of happiness and wellbeing that is otherwise ideal.
Sign that You’ve Forfeited Your Personal Power:
→ You have admitted to having codependent traits, yet have not pursued any sort of recovery from them.
→ Your own life is not as stable or functional as it could be.
→ “Going with the flow” is the excuse given to being overly passive with your targets.
→ You feel as if others don’t respect you enough.
→ You are uncomfortable saying “No” to your target(s) or “Yes” to your anti-targets.
→ You are sensitive to feeling controlled or manipulated by your anti-targets. In reality, you are prone to controlling/manipulating them to balance the fact that you are being controlled/manipulated by your targets.
7 Steps to Take Back Your Personal Power:
1. Build your self-love and self-esteem.
2. Focus on taking care of YOU first, then others and that means emotionally, mentally, spiritually, physically and financially.
3. Identify your target(s). Targets are typically children or family members, occasionally work associates or peer groups.
While your spouse may be a target, it is actually very common that your spouse is actually your anti-target. On one hand, if you feel that “It’s your spouse’s way or the highway” – he or she may be your target. On the other hand, if you are accused of not respecting your marriage, or treating others better than your spouse, those would indicate your spouse is your anti-target.
4. Accept that you may be rejected by your targets and you may have to set unpopular boundaries.
5. Remain vigilant to ways that you fall into “people pleasing” mode with your targets and make corrections.
6. Remain vigilant in how you become oppositional, neglect or otherwise mistreat your anti-targets and make corrections.
7. Drop ALL blame for how your life or your actions are because of anyone else.
Only you will know if you need help in becoming fully self-empowered. Yet, this deserves deep consideration in order to create health and happiness for you and those you love. As always, if you need additional help with this, don’t hesitate to contact me.